After many days i am visiting my blog..

actually want to share a beautiful letter of a friend to her friend

check out the letter below ..

Vasanthy just finished writing the email. She felt so much better after writing the email. Before hitting the "Send" button, she read the email once, corrected few lines. She then went on to complete the household activities.

It was Vasanthy's routine to send email to her dearest friend Pavithra whenever she felt down. She pile out all the issues, how it happened, what does she feel about that, what is Niranjan's reaction to those issues etc. Usually the mail comes to 150 lines minimum. Pavithra's response to the email wont be longer, but always comforts her. She replies saying that she understood Vasanthy very well and gives some courage words.

The core concept of her emails goes like this...

- How much she wanted baby, how long she was ttc and how she feels everytime when she sees little babies in public places...
- How irresponsible Niranjan is, how he wont come forward in helping her in household activities etc...
- How her in-laws speak senseless, how they question her about her treatment, and the pressure from them during this ttc journey...
- How tiring her travel to job is, how often her in-laws visit her home and wont help her in activities even she came late from office...
- And how early she got married to undergo all these issues...
Whatever she feels inside she puts in words and send them in long emails to her friend Pavithra. She is her sweetest single friend. Although she works in busy projects, she always gives importance to Vasanthy. She feels more than happy to support her either in person or in emails. As Vasanthy is newly married, she feels that its her responsibility as a dearest friend to be all ears to her issues and provide moral support. She knows that after Vasanthy sends her email, she will expect reply from her within a day or two.
Pavithra read the mail from Vasanthy that day. It was mixture of all the points explained above. She called her roommate and said that she will come in house drop cab at 9.30PM as she had some work to finish. She started typing the response, "Dear Vasanthy.... "
Vasanthy came to her workplace the next day morning. She was surprised to see a mail from Pavithra and opened it. It was pretty lengthy email. Vasanthy grabbed a cup of coffee and started reading the email.

Dear Vasanthy,

I read your email very carefully. I was so worried about you Vasanthy. Not because you were undergoing so much troubles. But because you were thinking these are troubles. I was so worried about you that you were becoming a self-sympathetic person day by day.

I am sorry to tell you like this and I know this is not the kind of response you expected from me. I wanted to provide you moral support throughout my life. But if I dont make you stop here and realise where are you going now, I am afraid you would grow as a self-centric person who always expects constant attention from others. This will mess your married life.

Vasanthy, life is complicated by itself. Dont make it even worse by blowing up small things.

I can understand that a baby is the joy of married couples and nothing is more important to them than a baby. If you dont have a baby now, it doesn't mean you wont have it at all. It may get delay but it will happen. You know it yourself. But you avoid tasting the actual joys in your life and appreciate what you have now, because you keep worrying about what you dont have. Of course you have to take necessary steps towards it and you are doing it. Additionally mourning about this only multiplies your worries, isn't it?

My sister's in-laws never talked to her since the day they got married. They always sees my sister as a person who came to steal their son from them. They speak to their son whenever they call, but never asked about my sister. She is a very kind girl but her in laws never saw her good characters. I am sure even if she delivers a baby, they wont have much affection towards that baby as well. Its one example. There are lots of examples like this. But your in-laws actually cares about you. They worry about you starting a family. When you tell them the good news they will be as much as happy as you are. I am sure you wont be having any doubt in that. If you tell them in soft, kind voice and explain that their constant questions pressures you, they will lessen doing that.

There are somethings I never shared with you. Last weekend, a family from Trichy came to Chennai to see me. My parents also came all the way from Bangalore. They first sent me the guy's picture. He looked very handsome. I expressed my interest to my parents. I put on my finest saree and finest jewelleries. We have planned to meet in Kabaleeshwarar temple. The guy looked more handsome than in the picture, you know. Our parents talked for a while. My uncle who played a role as mediator between the 2 families, asked the guy's parents whether they can allow both of us to speak for 10 mins. The guy just replied, "That's not necessary!". We came home and the marriage broker called home. I didnt know what he told, but I heard what my father replied. "Why should I lie about my daughter's age? She is 26 only. She is working day and night in her company. So she looks a bit aged.". The guy actually thought I am in my 30s. This is not the first guy to reject me. As far as I know he is 8th one rejecting after seeing me. I dont know how many of them rejected on seeing my picture. I can't stand the sorry face of my parents when they see me after each rejection. My father who wont talk girlie stuff, last week told me "Pavi, I heard there are lots of beauty treatments. Why dont you go for it? Next time you can do a facial or something. Think about it". I so wanted to get married. I got sick of going to the room where my recenty got engaged roommate speaks hours and hours with her fiance. I got tired of rejections. I want to be in a family, with my husband, to lie on his shoulders, to make him taste my cookings, to buy him surprise gifts, to comb his hair when he goes to office, iron his clothes. I have passed the phase where I see a guy's picture and tell whether I like him or not. I am now longing for somebody to like me. Telling you Vasanthy, if a guy actually likes me and chooses me to marry him, I will take care of him till my last cell dies. He is going to be my first baby. When I sit in front of the guy's family members with my head down, knowing that each pair of eyes judging me, I think how lucky you are.

Amongst the men who drinks and beats their wives, cheating their wives by having secret affair, not trusting their wives and not let them go outside the house or speak with anybody else, dont you feel you are lucky that you got Niranjan as your husband?

Vasanthy if we want to pick troubles in your life, we can say even lifting the food in spoon, putting in mouth, munching it and swallowing it as difficult too. The moment you feel that you are lucky to be living this life, you will throw away all the unnecessary things and start appreciate every little moments. Remember any trouble that dont kill you makes you a stronger person.

I hope you will understand what I am trying to say here. I am always here to help you and support you. You dont have to reply to this email. Just think about it.

Love,
Pavi

Vasanthy finished reading the email. She then opened the "Sent Items" of her mail box and filtered the mails she sent to Pavithra. There were 48 mails in 8 months. Most of them were lengthy emails. She randomly chose one email and read it. She realised how much she complained about her husband, her mother in law, her work and her parents too in some of the emails. There was an email in the inbox from Niranjan, she just noticed. She opened it. It said, "Hi, when did you reach office? I heard the trains will be delayed due to rain. Try to leave early." She then filtered Niranjan's emails in her inbox. There were loads of single line emails checking whether she reached safely, when will she start in the evening, had she had lunch, how is the day going, should he buy groceries in the evening etc... She then opened Pavithra's email, and replied

"I am lucky to have you as my friend Pavi..."

courtesy :IndusLadies
Very Beautiful and very touching one.
Yes one has to be sensitive enough to understand the problems the other person is going through. thou u are closest of friends ,everybody wil have different types of problems.
if your friend is smiling always , if she is encouraging you always, if she is crying only for ur problems doesn't mean that she is happy ,she doesn't have problems.
she do have as a friend its ur responsibility to understand that .
Please don take advantage of your friend :) .

ಅನಾಥರ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗಿ " ಕೆಲಸ ತಂದೆ ತಾಯಿ ನನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿನೆ ಮಾಡೋದಿಲ್ಲ" ಅಂತ ಹೇಳೋದು ಸರೀನಾ ?

ಪ್ರಪಂಚನ ನೋಡೋಕೆ ಆಗದೆ ಇರೋರ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಬಣ್ಣಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಹೇಳೋದು ಸರೀನಾ ?
ಒಳ್ಳೆ ಗಂಡು/ಹೆಣ್ಣು ಸಿಗದೆ ಮದ್ವೆ ಆಗದೆ ಇರೋರ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗಿ , ಮದ್ವೆ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾತಾಡೋದು ಸರೀನಾ ?
ಕೆಲಸ ಸಿಗದೆ ಕಷ್ಟ ಪಡ್ತಿರೋರ ಮುಂದೆ ಹೋಗಿ ನಿಮಗಿರೋ ಕೆಲಸ ಚೆನಾಗಿಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನೋದು ಸರೀನಾ ?

ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಯೋಚನೆ ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾದ ವಿಷಯಗಳು ಇದೆಲ್ಲ. ವಿಪರ್ಯಾಸ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ತಮ್ಮ ತಮ್ಮ ಖುಷಿಲಿ ತಾವು ಮಾಡ್ತಿರೋದು ಇನ್ನೊಬರಿಗೆ ನೋವು ಉಂಟು ಮಾಡ್ತಿದೆ ಅಂತ ಅರ್ಥನೇ ಮಾಡ್ಕೊಳ್ಳಲ್ಲ.. ಇದೆಲ್ಲ ಮಾಡೋದು ತುಂಬಾ ದೂರ ಇರೋರಲ್ಲ ,ನಮಗೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಹತ್ರ ಇರೋರೆ..

all such things are done by our close friends only, howmuch ever close u are .. one has to be sensitive.. sensitive towards the problems faced by the other person too. Life is for everybody so are problems .

if a person doesn't show emotions that doesn't mean the person is heartless or emotionless :)see in the above letter too Vasanthy always told about her problems but she never tot about her friend pavitra's problems..

In fact pavitra was the one who was going thru rough phase of life .pavitra was good enough to understand vasanthy's problems(she kept aside all her problems) but on the contrary every body cannot be like this. there is limit for everything..

am i right .. ? if u want to save you any relation not only friendship you have to be sensitive..

thats is all i feel .. hope ppl understand me and my point of view.